Tamilan Married life

GETTING MARRIED LIFE

In Tamil Nadu most marriages are still arranged by parents and intercaste marriages, although on longer rare, are still the exception rather than rule, Child marriage is now a thing of the past.

Economic status and caste are crucial factors in the process of selecting a marriage partner, Marriages is an expensive business and the bride's family usually has to meet all the expenses as well as providing a dowry. To parents with several daughters this financial burden is as source of constant worry.

Paradoxically, the education of women has added to the problem. In many castes  an educated girl can only marry a man with an equal or better education, but the better educated the bridegroom is the higher the dowry the bride has to bring. For many middle class families education and employment for women has meant that woman have to earn their own dowries, In earlier days the dowry consisted of cash and jewellery, but today it may include such modern items as scootgers, refrigerators, television sets and pressure cookers.

In the past weddings were big social events spread over five days, Today the ceremony is completed in a little over one day. Weddings are no longer celebrated at home but are performed in rented halls. Government legislation on civil marriage has made things simple and laws have been passed to facilitate intercaste marriages. For those who, either from conviction or for the sake of convenience, want to dispense with ceremonies the Government has introduced a self-respect marriage Act which validates marriages solemnized in non-traditional fashion.

In the Hindu religion the wedding ceremony is the most important of the samskaras ( sacraments) The date is arranged in accordance with careful astrological calculations. At one point in the ceremony the bridegroom takes his bride by the hand and leads her round a sacrificial fire to solemnize their new and irrevocable union. Finally the newly-weds are taken in procession to their new home. It is customary for a married couple to renew their vows at a second ceremony held when the bridegroom reaches the age of sixty.

It is customary for married couples to renew their wedding vows at a ceremony held on the husband's sixtieth birthday. Offerings are made round a sacrificial fire and water from consecrated pitchers is poured through a sieve and sprinkled over the couple. The wife traditionally receives a second tali, or wedding jewel. Seated on her father's lap, a young bride waits for the mangalyam  to be fastened around her neck. This is crucial moment in the wedding ceremony when the bride passes from the control of her parents and comes under the protection of her husband.